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emila_04's Journal
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Date:2008-12-13 15:25
Subject:
Security:Public

It's been such a long time since I've posted! I feel like so much has gone on, I don't know where to begin.

First of all, the semester is OVER!! I turned in all of my assignments, and passed all of my classes! I need to continue with my internship to satisfy my required hours due to missing days b/c of holidays and judges conferences (I am a court advocate 2 days a week), but I was going to stay on anyway.

I really love what I am doing with this agency. It's not easy work in the least, but I come home feeling like I've made some kind of difference. I have an individual therapy/case management client now too, and working with her has been a joy. I am constantly reminded how strong people can be even when bad things happen. I am also reminded how often the strongest of these people are never aware of their perseverance.

As far as dating, there was one guy in October, but that ceased and desisted right after Halloween. It was done in a very assanine way, but somehow we still talk sometimes. I don't quite understand it, but I am sure it will make for some interesting entries in the future.

It's been almost 4 months and I still miss Peter. I don't know if I miss him, or just having someone there. We were so compatible and I know I was genuine when I said I fell in love with him. There are things that happened over the course of his time in NC that will cause me never to doubt that. I had to cut off all communication however, because it was just too painful, as I said before, to plummet in priority and affection in that short amount of time. Some of it was justified, some of it could have been handled differently.

On that note, I am going to cut this update short since a non-school related book is calling my name!

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Date:2008-10-30 12:13
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: busy

I haven't posted much lately, but I wanted to share this article:

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/2149935/

This is senseless and it is real. It is not just a blurb on the evening news, it is an environment behind more closed doors than we would all like to admit. It happens in every circle, so please don't think domestic violence is somebody else's problem. And it is not a "private family matter" when someone is being abused. I don't expect crusades or a change over night to change this problem, but please know we can all do something to address this very real and tragic problem. Take a stand in whatever way you are able. There have already been far too many casualties.

I have my qualms about Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October) being overlooked in a lot of venues. My response to this is to be aware of on some level year round. Nobody deserves to be abused. Love should not hurt.

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Date:2008-10-19 12:41
Subject:Why can't all news be like this?
Security:Public

This is HILARIOUS! I think Palin is a horrible woman, but I will give her credit for doing well on SNL.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-palin-rap/773781/

Personally, I think Amy Poeller would have been a much better pick for VP. She has more foreign policy experience AND she can rap!

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Date:2008-10-12 18:37
Subject:Reassurance that Love and Chivalry are NOT a Thing of the Past
Security:Public
Mood: busy

I went on a much-needed coffee run on Franklin Street, and stopped outside of Buns (a phenomenal local burger place...) to smoke a cigarette before proceeding on to Starbucks for my tall, non-fat, light whip, Cinnamon Dulce Mocha pick-me-up. Behind me, I suddenly heard the light laughter coming from two people behind me coming down the exit ramp of the restaurant. I strategically placed my cigarette in a way that the smoke would not be in their path and waited for them to pass. It was then that I saw it was a couple that had to be at least in their 60's. The man jokingly nudged the woman in her shoulder to continue the joke they were sharing, and they proceeded to cross the street with his arm around her shoulder. As they crossed, he nuzzled a little into her neck and she just laughed.

If this were a couple in their 20's I might have vomited on the sidewalk out of disgust, snarkiness, and envy, but seeing these two people in a moment of happiness gave me a warm and hopeful feeling. I found myself making a story for them, wanting to know how they met, if they had been together for decades or days. If they were experiencing the very trials and elations of dating that I and those I date experience as we try to find a good match for companionship, or for some on their search, "The One".

Whether these two people were on a first date or together for a long time, it reminded me that I shouldn't be in a hurry with this stuff because it's not like there is a limit on how old you are to love and care for someone. In this day and age where we don't see a lot of good outcomes from pursuing dating and love, this was a breath of fresh air.

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Date:2008-10-08 15:02
Subject:
Security:Public

This article touches on the recent rapes &/or murders of military women in the past year. Near the end, several cases from North Carolina are discussed. I wish I could have made it to Fayetteville today for the vigil and discussion.

http://www.truthout.org/100708A

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Date:2008-09-27 14:11
Subject:
Security:Public

Rest in Peace, Paul Newman. You gave so much to others and you will be missed.

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Date:2008-09-01 12:53
Subject:Holy Crap!
Security:Public

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/01/palin.daughter/index.html

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Date:2008-08-31 15:43
Subject:Murphy Strikes Again
Security:Public
Mood: busy

Of course when I am *just* about to go downstairs to run errands for work (making up hours missed this week), it begins to monsoon outside! It's been 10-15 minutes and there is still this sheet of water draped across my office window. And, I left my umbrella and non-sandal shoes in the car. Hopefully I can wait it out and it won't be very long.

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Date:2008-08-21 15:35
Subject:Much Needed Update
Security:Public
Mood: busy

I realized today that I have not updated this thing in over a month. Ironically, it's been the most intense month I've had in quite a while and I wrote nothing about it. I managed to fall in love with someone, "Play House" for all intents and purposes, and have now let him go. It hurts like hell, but I think I am either numb or at peace with this, evidenced by the fact I am work being productive (taking a break to post), and not hiding under the covers commiserating with my good friends Ben and Jerry and alienating myself more than I usually do.

This person is a friend of my roomie's who came to visit b/c he is moving overseas to take a job and wanted to relax and see people before he left at the end of August. My roomie put me in touch with him before the visit b/c she knew we would hit it off. That is the understatement of the century however, b/c once we started talking, we didn't stop and were talking hours a day. He ended up bumping his visiting to NC from 1 week to a month.

When he came to NC in mid July, we were immediately a couple. I knew it would hurt in the end. I knew it would rip my heart out b/c he is moving and has never indicated anything other than enjoying our time while we could. It was more than communicated that an overseas relationship wasn't going to happen. Those of you who know me well however, know that I will find hope in even the most far-fetched relationships even if all evidence points me in another direction. This happened, and despite whining, pouting, crying, and pleading, I did not get my way. I dropped him off at the airport last night and our relationship as a couple has ended. There is no ill will, no animosity, no regrets.

I can find so many good and bad emotions from this. The intensity was too much to bear sometimes b/c I knew this great relationship had an established, finite end. I would not take it back though. I already miss him, but our lives are not in the same place, which doesn't mean we didn't (and don't still) love eachother).

I'm going to be in a bit of a funk for a while, so bear with me if I am in either total denial or whining uncontrollably. For now though, I have quite a bit of work to get back to!

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Date:2008-07-16 08:44
Subject:Yay! Feist was on Sesame Street!
Security:Public

Is this not the cutest thing ever????

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Date:2008-07-04 10:53
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: tired

Work up to find this on CNN:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/07/04/obit.helms/index.html

I have the belief that it's not ok to speak ill of the deceased, but I just hope the media doesn't inundate this event with a ton of coverage. This is a person who, in addition to having the reputation as a racist and homophobe, had a significant role in the Convention for Elimination of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), drafted by the UN and noted as the "Bill of Rights for Women" not being ratified by the US Senate. It's been in limbo since the 70's and the US is the only Western nation NOT to have it ratified. Senator Helms was adamantly in opposition of it from my understanding and was in a position where this unfortunately had impact.

My condolences to anyone who loses a loved one. This individual, however, has received enough of the public spotlight for some very assanine things. Rather than focusing on his ignorance alone, we should be looking at the damage it did to our nation being a progressive entity for dignified compassion and protecting human rights.

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Date:2008-06-26 04:22
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: tired

I came to the realization around 3am that my cats must have received training in interrogation tactics from either the CIA, the Moussad, or perhaps the Mafia. The main question being asked of me: "Where's my food, Biatch?!"

The psychological warfare consists of whining while also being lovey and purring...suddenly eating my hair, waiting until I have just fallen asleep and then poking me in the eye with a single paw (I am sure this is some formal move in kung fu....), and then if they still don't get what they want, Milo begins to eat pieces of paper...just waiting until he's found the right one that will make me spring from my bed because it's my paycheck, birth certificate, passport, or something else that would hurt my chances of fleeing the country to get away from this nonsense.

If they still don't get what they want, they go after the one closest to me...my roomie. Oscar will impale himself against the door trying to break it down as an act of intimidation. This says "Feed me or I will destroy the REM cycles of you and everyone you know!!".

Don't be fooled. They are cute, but they are trained assassins, I'm sure.

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Date:2008-06-23 11:48
Subject:We'll Always Have the Seven Dirty Words...
Security:Public
Mood: disappointed





"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." -George Carlin, 1937-2008

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Date:2008-06-20 11:39
Subject:Things I would like to Do at SOME Point in my Life
Security:Public

I don't know what's come over me lately, but I've been looking more into things that could take me abroad in the semi-near future (read: next couple of years) before I forget how beneficial even the small amount of traveling was for me. Also, if I put to words the goals and experiences I want to have in my life, I can look back at it and see how I am doing:

-Become active in the Stop Violence Against Women campaign through Amnesty International USA
-Go to Tanzania to assist at a womens' center
-Go to Mexico to assist at a domestic violence shelter
-Volunteer in Vietnam. I saw a trip posted and it jumped out at me for several reasons.
-Get at least SOME of my student loans forgiven by working with the National Health Service Corps once I am licensed as an clinical social worker. The positions are paid, just located in areas that are "at risk" or in great need of services.
-Be a volunteer for the UN abroad after the National Health Service Corps (the UN actually pay you a stipend though. It's not too bad...)
-Get involved in CARE International. They focus mainly on global poverty and women, but I would think that if gender-based violence influences poverty in the US, it certainly would on a global level.
-Go back to Germany and Austria. Take in the sites in Northern Germany, spend more time in Salzberg (only had three hours last time...), go to Vienna.
-Also go to Prague, Budapest, Moscow, Zagreb, Barcelona and Madrid
-Take an Alaskan cruise
-Learn to use my inquisitive nature in a way that is not too intense/bombarding, but instead to ask the questions nobody else is and get things done (...not sure if these are inseparable or not...stay tuned)
-Be involved in getting the Convention for the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women CEDAW ratified in the US, and International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA) up and running, and well as maintaining and improving Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in the United States. I'll never be a key player in any of this, but I'm realizing the more I learn that these things are very important to me.

Oh, and last but not least: Go to the mini-Graceland that is located somewhere near Roanoke, Va with Heather! Gotta keep my priorities straight! ;-)

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Date:2008-06-20 10:20
Subject:I'm posting this mainly for my fellow VA Beach transplants in NC
Security:Public
Mood: Coffee!!

I was talking to a customer last night at work, and when I mentioned I was from Virginia Beach, she asked me if I ever went to the ARE. I said I had been once or twice, but a group of my friends go pretty often and I thought it was pretty interesting. She then told me about The Rhine Center (www.rhine.org), near the Duke campus (was affiliated with Duke for a very long time), that is pretty similar to the ARE in their views, ect.

I am thinking about going to some of the classes coming up if my schedule permits. The fact that Duke had a Parapsychology Lab is pretty cool to me :-) If anyone sees anything interesting on the website and is in the area, let me know and I'll go with you. I figure it's worth checking out.

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Date:2008-06-18 12:53
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: busy

I've been a productive bum today, if that makes any sense. I've been looking online for articles for the paper I need to write for the International Social Work course and have found so many interesting documents and volunteer opportunities in the process. My paper will compare the United States approaches and effectiveness in addressing violence against women to the Convention Eradicating Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), which was formed by the UN, but never ratified by the US (it is one of the few that has not done so...very interesting perspectives on that..). In the process of researching, I've had to look on the websites for the UN, WHO, Amnesty, and other international and domestic human rights groups. Out of curiosity I looked at the volunteer opportunities available for each organization. The UN's volunteer program looks very appealing after I become licensed as an LCSW (I'll be 30). The minimum age is 25, and they seek trained professionals, so I don't feel this is an overly urgent commitment. Instead I can take my time and not feel like I am on a tight schedule. I also noticed that Amnesty USA is seeking volunteer Stop Violence Against Women Coordinators nationally. I am submitting a statement of interest to see what the time commitment is. If it is a full time commitment, i.e. something like Americorps, I couldn't do it right now b/c of school. If it's not, I want to do it. I am certainly qualified, and for anyone who doesn't know, I would like to work for an organization like Amnesty one day. I have to say that the trip to Germany has got the ball rolling for a lot of things lately. Yeah, the guy I met in Munich didn't work out, but I am excited about the other opportunities I am finding.

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Date:2008-06-15 09:44
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: awake

I'm going to get my hair cut today hopefully at Salon 168 in Durham (http://www.salon168.com/index.htm) because they have an offer for 50% off services for first time customers and pretty good deals for customer loyalty. And, for a good haircut the prices are pretty standard before the discounts.

I'm hoping to get a color consultation also while I am there, getting ideas and pricing info. I've been told by almost every hair stylist I've been to that if I do anything I should get low lights. If it's reasonable priced and not too high maintinence I'll consider it. Since I've started working at Origins and discovered the wonderful thing called make-up and a blow dryer, I've put a lot more thought into what I look like on a daily basis (but holding back enough that I keep that "I do a lot of shit, so what if I don't look perfect?"-cred.

If anything I'll look a little better (at least with the haircut alone, getting all of the split ends gone), and it might make me feel a little better about the most recent event of Y-chromosome BS.

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Date:2008-06-10 15:31
Subject:
Security:Public

Does ANYONE know how I could retrieve digital photos deleted b/c the memory card was formatted?? I've used a couple of the online programs to scan my camera, but they haven't found anything. I don't want to think all of the pics I took in Germany are completely lost, so if anyone knows a solution to my problem, PLEASE let me know!

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Date:2008-06-06 20:35
Subject:
Security:Public

And one for Sam:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/u_s_navy_creates_cool_new

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Date:2008-06-06 20:30
Subject:
Security:Public

For Heather, Betsy, and all of my other grammar obsessed friends:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/commas_turning_up

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